My daughter just recently turned 4 this month. I had heard all about the "Terrible Twos" and was warned about them, but surprisingly we skipped 2 and 3 year old behavioral problems. But just about the last 2 months or so of age 3, she started getting a whiney, screaming, non listening tantrum personality which would be even worse when we were in public and usually in the most inconvenient places and times. Randomly my previously sweet and well behaved, polite child would get in her mind to go limp (when we were holding her hand) and start laughing while rolling around on the floor of a nice, somewhat higher end store in the mall. Sometimes she decides to whine and fuss (very loudly) when we ask her to go to the potty when we are out in public (she is potty trained but lately gets too busy or distracted to stop and go to the potty that she will have an wetting accident). At home, she neglects to put away her toys after making an incredible mess in the livingroom (where she has her toy bins). Bedtime is often a major chore. It is a constant struggle to tell her to pick up her toys, go potty, brush her teeth and get in bed so we can then read to her and tuck her in. She likes the reading and tucking part, but the process to get to that part is nearly impossible to accomplish before 9:30 pm, with her actual bedtime being 8:00 pm.
We are against spanking and have decided that we will parent and discipline our children in other ways, which to be honest does become difficult to get creative in our disciplinary actions, while being effective. We have tried a sticker chart in the past which worked well for a week or 2 and then she would get stickers from other people randomly (church or the grocery store) when not in the context of chores / rewards, and so the stickers for doing good behavior on the chart did not work anymore.
Sadly my husband and I have become worn down, exhausted and frustrated with her increased lack of obedience and listening, and often raise our voice more often than we should. I have found that it really does not accomplish anything other than only making her raise her own voice back at us, and mirror our behavior and frustration.
I was given the opportunity to review a teaching tool for positive reinforcement and structure from a up in coming company, Bear on the Chair. This is focused on a stuffed bear, a good behavior buddy which helps parents reinforce positive behaviors in their children. Invented by the founder's then 6 year old daughter, the
Bear On The Chair is designed as a positive reinforcement tool for children. The product features a soft cuddly teddy bear, a white picket country inspired chair and a booklet which explains the Bear On The Chair story. The set comes with 'happy' and 'sad' face patches which can be attached directly onto the Bear's simple white T-shirt. The patches are a sturdy felt material and use the colors yellow and red which help children connect those 2 emotions with the corresponding color.
This is a great tool for positive parenting techniques and helps the young child learn right actions from wrong actions. They learn to desire to please "bear" and mommy and daddy and not just do the good deed or behavior to get a prize. Children innately want to be good and want to please. The Bear On The Chair is a fantastic tool in our home as we are working with her daily on specific goals such as Brushing Teeth, Listening, Obeying, Cleaning up Toys, and Potty Training.
Children name their bear right away and with their parent, visit the Bear On The Chair website to register their new friend and behavior buddy, then print out his/her adoption certificate. We agreed on Sammy for our bear's name and although my daughter still is having some issues with whining and listening, things are slowly improving. It has only been a month, and so I imagine that the best test will be how she has improved say, 6 months from now.
I really like this program, and feel it will work for several age groups of children. I think that little ones as young as 2 could understand this Bear on the Chair concept to some extent. I am excited to see her become more in tune with this system and become attached to her friend, desiring to make him happy. He sits on the mantle in our living room as she plays each day. Sometimes we put him on a lower eye level to her.
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Reinforce positive behavior examples:
Brushing Teeth Cleaning Room
Potty Training Eating Healthy
Sharing ASD and Autism therapy
Obedience Listening
Learning Honesty (not lying) Not Whining / Speaking Politely and Calm
Bear On The Chair includes:
(1) White shirt with Velcro circle patch,(1) White plastic chair (easy wipe-able cleaning), (1) Yellow Smiley Face, (1) Red Frown Face, (1) Story book
Bear sitting in chair combined dimensions:
7" (L) x 4.5" (W) x 9.5" (H)
Connect with the Bear on the Chair company by following them on Facebook and Twitter.
Would you like to get one for your little one or a little one you know? Bear On The Chair is offering my readers 15% off their purchase by using the code:
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*I was sent one Bear from the Bear On The Chair company for an honest review.
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