Saturday, February 15, 2014

REVIEW: Self Confidence: How To Overcome Shyness, Worry And Boost Your Self-Esteem by Anastasia Verg (ebook review)

Disclosure: I got this product as part of an advertorial.

I had the opportunity to read an ebook by Anastasia Verg. She has a background working with many people ranging from elderly, children of all ages, the aged, and disabled. She has been a social worker and lives by the creed "to be able to assist as many people as possible and help them overcome their problems." That is a beautiful statement showcasing her benevolence for humanity. The book was a quick read and she had some great points on how to improve self esteem, self love, and self worth. Many of her points were aspects of self improvement that we all know, but do not always follow. I have always been a shy person, and have not always been the most self confident, so I decided to see what she recommended.

I agreed with most all of Verg's points on improving one's self outlooks. Positive affirmations are important as they help us believe that we are of value and affirmations do strengthen our confidence. I agree that by daily proclaiming positive characteristics in front of a mirror, we are growing and improving our self confidence. If we believe we have value, then others will be more likely to view us in high regard as well. We must love ourselves.

The only part of the ebook I did not completely agree with was the beginning part where she stated that improving external appearance was a big factor in self esteem. I agree, we need to have proper hygiene, and not offend others with body odor, unkempt appearance, and poor grooming habits.

The author mentioned that "instead of glasses, you should wear contacts." I have to disagree. There are many people, even celebrities, that look amazing and sexy in glasses (Johnny Depp, Nicole Kidman, Matt Bomer, Ryan Gosling, Tina Fey, Meryl Streep, and others). Some people that wear glasses are not able to wear contacts, due to their prescription strength or they just do not like touching their eyes to put contacts in. I myself wear contacts, but that is my personal choice as I hate wearing glasses in the rain and getting my glasses fogged or smudged. I wore glasses from third grade until my first year in college. I always wore trendy or designer ones, and made sure they fit my face shape correctly. I definitely wanted to wear contacts, but when finally given a chance in high school, I tried for almost an hour at the eye doctors, trying to put them in and failed. I had a hard time touching my eye and putting something in it, so left the office with glasses. I tried contacts a third time in my first year of college, and finally was able to put them in withing minutes. I was super happy. I now wear contacts almost exclusively and can put them in within seconds without a mirror. But just because I wear contacts instead of glasses, doe not mean I am swarming with friends and have super confidence. I felt that the statement "instead of glasses, you should wear contacts" was a bit unfair for people to be urged to switch from glasses to contacts in order to improve their appearance, make them more attractive to others, and have a better chance at bettering their self esteem.

I did agree that smiling is vital, as it makes you more approachable and likeable. Smiling shows others that you are fun to be around, and a nice person. No one wants to be around a gloomy, angry or negative person.

The only other negatives I found (in my opinion) about the ebook was the part on fashion/clothing and tanning. Not everyone can afford or wear designer or highly fashionable clothing. Some body sizes have limited selection for fashion. I am not skinny by any means, but am not excessively overweight either. However, I have noticed that sizes that are much bigger than me seem to have more frumpy styles available. (Which is not fair to them). I wear about a size 16 pre-pregnancy (and am reasonably tall at 5' 9) (I am currently 30 weeks pregnant). I luckily can easily find clothing at the Gap, Banana Republic, and other fashionable stores, but ladies who are sizes 20 and above have limited choices for fashion. Usually trendier stores stop carrying sizes 18 and above. So just because a larger plus size person is wearing clothes that are not fashionable, does not mean they are destined to be friendless or have low self esteem.

I agree that it is important to match / coordinate your clothing. It is also important to not go out with stains, holes, wrinkles or dirty attire. I also agree with what the author about wearing things that are appropriately fitting (not wearing things too loose or too tight). I was just a bit surprised at a list of fashion dos and don'ts in a self esteem book.

The author mentioned tanning, and yes it is controversial. I have always loved my creamy ivory skintone, brown eyes, and dark brown almost black hair (think vintage/pin up style icon Dita Von Teese skin, or actress Zooey Deschanel--not saying I look like them at all, I just have similar skin tone and hair color). I have always been against tanning for me personally, as it seems to make skin age faster, cause wrinkles, and even cause skin cancer. I did tan for 2 weeks prior to my wedding, but that was a one time thing.

The author says "you shouldn't look very pale. Try to make your skin a little brown." I disagree on this as I feel it is just an opinion, and not vital to improving ones self esteem or chances of being accepted by others. I felt that the author emphasized outward appearance a little too much in this ebook. If someone wants to wear bronzer, or go to a tanning bed, that is completely their choice, but does not make them more likeable, popular, or approachable. I do agree/feel that the basics of good grooming (being clean, brushing teeth, having a neat appearance, and not having body odor) is vital to being approachable/likeable and helpful to improving self esteem.

Other than those points that I mentioned above, I agree with what the author wrote about in improving one's self. Loving your self is important, self affirmations, overcoming insecurities, believing in yourself, and not worrying, all are good rules to live by. Check out more info about the author and her writings.

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

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